i am glad u will see my blog) and i hope u will like my new hair cut - this is it on the picture here)))) and as for the other pics u can see them if click  here - http://www.livejournal.com/users/amelka/tag/pics

 

***
i left all memories behind
and died in my depression
deeply concealed in morbid mind
i suffer from oppression.
feeling the anguish, throes, twinge,
pretending to be happy,
let us go on our crazy binge
and call all lovers sappy.
i've grown hatred to myself
driven my crushes out
dug up infirmity and delve
and sold that gnawing doubt

04.01.2005

Глосарій :
1. memories - згадки, спомини
2. to conceal - приховувати, заховати, затаїти
3. morbid - хворобливий, психічно розладжений, з відхиленнями
4. oppression - пригніченість
5. anguish - страждання, біль, мУка
6. throes - сильний біль, агонія, мУки
7. twinge - моральні мУки
8. to pretend - вдавати, симулювати
9. binge - п’янка, гулянка
10. sappy - надміру сентиментальний, приторний
11. to drive out - витісняти, проганяти
12. crush - пристрасне захоплення, пристрасть
13. to dig up - викопувати, рити
14. infirmity - пасивність, безсилля, бездіяльність
15. delve - пустота, впадина, яма
16. to gnaw - гризти, роз’їдати, мучити

Йоу - тепер у Руслани є пісня англійською мовою, пісня яку писала Юля Міщенко а я перекрутила на ненашинську - отака вона доля... бідна пісня.

13:51 16.05.2004
Ruslana "Northern Song"

Scorching like the ice of a glacier
mystic like the eyes of a racer
stranger for you i am being at war
no rules are there where i'm living
like a hunter moving and breathing
do i really need you and what for?

i'm a permanent  freedom
when i call it my fate's following me
i will ruin all prisons
feel no pain i will set my soul free
i will gather the rain
to wash my beauty and my fabulous spree
i will bear all strain
win the struggle and my country will preen.

i may not return to you ever
i may fall in love and forever
i am not your contestant nor a friend
my love can be stronger than my freedom
liberty's my power and my weapon
I will bring the freedom to my  land

i'm a permanent  freedom
when i call it my fate's following me
i will ruin all prisons
feel no pain i will set my soul free
i will gather the rain
to wash my beauty and my fabulous spree
i will bear all strain
win the struggle and my country will preen.

this road is running, hey-ya, far away
i'm a real struggler so don't ask why
where all is frozen at a dizzy height
mountains are northern there my heart lies.

11.05    0:26

like a smiling angel, like a ghost
u came and stole my tedious dream.
ur curly hair, moving nose,
innocent eyes with crafty gleam
all made me burn when i'm alone
all made me icy when with u
blazing inferno outside's stone
affraid that lava can just spew
this vague uncertain situation
makes body feeble, brains mad
if i stay longer on this station
i will feel good but also bad.

three days i'm on
but feel no life
the dream was long
me thrust by a knife
was hot and painless
was light and calm
awe of awareness
being dead is rum
burnt by blood redness
could have escaped
if not my diffidence
my killer didn't wait...

the strong abuse
feels very short,
it will amuse
but now seems hot.
u want desire,
i look for me,
all u admire
appears dee.

bad mood is awkward,
there's no in u.
my life is a death ward,
fuss and stew

again in the clouds
just thinking thru,
all thoughts aloud
will shock for true.

mb i died,
mb i cried
but now i'm right,
so black and white.
feel no surprise,
ceased to advise,
tired of brains,
hidden by th'scarf.
all that remains
just perfect bluff...

13:38 29.02.2004
февраль растаял
ручейками,
укрылся дымкою,
устал.
черные лужи
под ногами,
весь цвет туман
в себя впитал.

последний день
последний раз
застыла лень
последний час
последний стих
последний сон
последний миг
последний стон
глаза пекут
болью текут
кожа горит
запах хранит
i wonder will i get repeat?
the eyes on me belovedly lit.
will i die now or in a day,
go on like so or other way?
my winter gone i melt away
have i to move or have to stay?
should i dive in or should i glide?
i can't define the proper side

15:35 15.11.2003 (to Iffy)
U left taking away my heart,
Feeling attracted grew apart.
U went abroad I stayed at home.
I want to cry I want to roam
around the city to feel a life.
U sought a girl u'd take to wife
I know that it's not my role
I bet I shouldn't be your dole...

16:05 29.01.2004 (to the phony love or rather to me)
These "feelings" were all untrue
i didn't love u it came true
i wanted just to feel in love
so i created all that rove
i'm stupid self-deceiving girl
wanted to fuck u but that's all
yeah u seduced me but not more
i tried to like all u adore
i tried to feel like missing u
the stuff has gone and now i'm thru

I know i'm wrong
i know i'm bad
i know u'r stong
and won't be mad
I say u good-bye
For u to stop dream
Yes, may be it's lie
And i'm off my beam